A Brand New Day

That is exactly what it feels like.  

We have been moved from Pediatric ICU, to a pediatric floor of the hospital.  

Valerie ate some of her ramen noodles yesterday and had a couple bites of egg at breakfast this morning.  She was never a really big eater anyway and after all that her stomach has been through the last several days, we are taking it slow.

I am trying to think of her favorite foods so that she will have a little more interest in eating.  I told her we would get her KFC chicken wings this afternoon and daddy would bring her the seaweed snacks that she loves so much, but nothing seems to peak her interest right now.  We are sticking to the bland hospital food for now, and she is barely nibbling on it.  But I will take what I can get.

Last night she really had a lot of pain.  I tried everything to make her feel better, a cold cloth, ice pack, but it wasn't working. Poor little girl, if I could take all that pain away I would do it in an instant.  

I started rubbing her head.  The nurses brought down a movie for her to watch to try to distract her.  So the two of us squished together in the hospital bed and watched "Tangled".  She enjoyed it, although I am not sure how much of it she understood.  Her favorite part is the little green iguana.  We will have to get the movie, so we can watch it again when she is not hurting.  

So as I am laying next to her in the bed, she laid her legs across mine and placed her head on my chest and let me rub her forehead.

For. Two. Hours.

I am soaking it in, the feel of her little hand in mine, her chest moving up and down as she breathes.  Her tiny little body, leaning against mine.  I just hate that it is under these circumstances that I get to experience this.  

The most affection I have ever gotten is a quick hug.  Or when we play around a lot and she will let me "catch" her, then she will smile and run off.  You see, when you have never received any affection, you don't know how to give it and you don't know how to act when someone gives it to you.

I love that she feels safe enough to let me sit in the bed with her and that she is allowing me to comfort her.  

My heart is heavy for the times when she was sick and had no one to comfort her.  Knowing now about some of her medical conditions, I am sure these times were numerous.

I grieve for her for the times she was lonely or scared.  

My heart aches because she had no one to lean on.

Dear child that has all changed now. 

Chaotic events don't suddenly place us out of control, they only make us realize how little control we had all along.  In this fallen world, we just need to acknowledge that there is nothing that we will ever go through that He will not redeem.  The Lord has placed Valerie in our home and He is making Himself known to her.  I wait with anticipation to see what God is going to do in her life.