"Does she speak English?"
To which we answer,
"No."
She was never exposed to any English. There was no one in her orphanage, in her foster home, or in her school that spoke any English.
The next question we get is,
"How do you communicate with her?"
We basically do a lot of charades.
When we tell her we are going somewhere, you act like you are driving a car.
When it is time to eat, you put your hand to your mouth like you are eating.
When you ask if she is tired, you yawn or pretend to be asleep.
We lead each other around the house and point a lot.
This is especially good in the kitchen when we are trying to figure out what to eat, or what she wants to drink.
Follow by example
The girls have been extremely helpful with this one.
When it is time to go to bed, I tell them.
When Valerie sees them get up, she follows. Her sisters brush their teeth and put on their pajamas and she does the same. (I love this one!)
You imitate one another and others
This one is sometimes tough.
Valerie was trying to tell us something that has happened and she imitated them. Not always a good thing when you have two different people with two differing opinions on what happened. Or when you know you should not have done what you did and you see it being reenacted in front of you.
You make a lot of sounds to express you ideas
This one can get pretty comical.
When you talk about the dog, you bark.
When you ask if something hurts, you touch that spot and moan.
All of these are okay for basic questions, but if you want to have a "conversation", that is a different story.
When we talk about future plans
you combine several of these methods.
In 3 days (hold up 3 fingers and make a pointing forward motion with you other hand)
we (you point to everyone involved)
go (walking motion with fingers and/or act like you are driving a car)
Ayi Lynn jia (this means Aunt Lynn's house)
If she doesn't know the person we are talking about we will show her a picture of that person.
Really, most of that has been going pretty well.
Exhausting at times, but pretty well.
But it goes further than that.
To explain things to someone who does not speak the same language is one thing. But to explain things to someone who has a different culture, a different lifestyle, or has had very little life experience is a totally different thing.
I remember watching a "60 Minute" episode 6 months ago about "The Lost Boys of the Sudan." These boys lived in Africa and were basically secluded from the world. They were orphaned during the Second Sudanese Civil War in 1983. Their villages were attacked and these children fled on foot and lived in the wilderness for years. In 2001, the United States established a program to resettle these boys into the United States. These boys were no longer boys, but young men who had no idea of modern technology. Some of them were terrified of getting on the airplane, others were afraid that "the extreme cold will kill us", he was speaking of snow. This was a complete change of life for them.
So I sat there and watched "60 Minutes" and though about how our child would react to her complete life change. I thought about how wonderful it would be to be able to share with her so many new things and to be able to experience them with her.
Even while we were still in China, we realized how secluded from the world she was.
She was terribly excited to get on an airplane,
thought it was funny to watch the luggage go on the conveyor belt,
and her jaw dropped when she got on the moving "sidewalks" at the airport.
In the net city of Guangzhou, China, she complained that her eyes hurt. We would be outside and her eyes would water and tear up. She would tell our guide that something was in her eyes.
We finally figured out that it was the sun.
She was not used to the bright light of the sun. On the days that she did go outside, it was extremely smoggy and cloudy where she had lived.
Something else that amazed Valerie, was when Elise and Rachel jumped into the pool at the hotel. She could not believe that they could go into that much water and go beneath it to swim.
We could not wait to get her home and see how many other things would be new and fun to her.
We came back home on October 21st, ten days before Halloween. Talk about a culture shock. Halloween is not celebrated in China. You do not go door to door for candy. You do not see dogs dressed as cowboys. You do not dress up or decorate for Halloween.
We drove into our neighborhood one afternoon and we hear her gasp. I look at her in the backseat and see her hand over her mouth and her eyes wide open. She is pointing out the window.
How do you explain to her that white sheets with eyes on them are not usually hanging from the trees?
As we continue driving to our house,
she sees tombstones and moss and
(One of the things that we know that she is afraid of.)
huge spiders.
How do you explain that?
We also had a misfortunate accident with our van while we were away.
How do you explain that this is our van, yes in the junk yard.
The van we are driving belongs to a friend,
and all these vans that you are riding in as we test drive?
All I can imagine is that she thinks we have a fleet of vehicles to drive whenever we want to.
How do you explain that in the United States, you do not see a doctor three times a week? We are just trying to gather enough blood, urine and stool to make sure you are getting the right medical treatment. I wont even go into details here. Just suffice to say that our bathroom experiences did not end in China. We are, as Robbie would say "making sure that everything comes out alright."
Robbie's mom and sister were coming for the weekend because Robbie's niece was getting married. How do we explain?
We know the Chinese words for mom and sister and then pointed to Robbie. That was easy.
Wedding.
Here comes the charades.
I got a veil and flowers from the girls dress up box and proceeded to hum the wedding march while acting like I was walking down the aisle.
Ok, good.
Now Valerie is excited that we are going to a wedding!
But then she asks about Ye ye. (that means grandfather)
I shake my head no. She looks confused.
Robbie's dad passed away right before we left for China.
Valerie asks again if Nai nai (grandmother) is coming.
I nod my head and say yes.
She says Ye ye again and motions for him to come here.
I told her "mei yo", which means "do not have".
She thinks for a minute, then she lays down on the floor and crosses her arms over her chest and closes her eyes.
I nod my head yes.
She understands.
There have been some tough things to explain or things that we have not been able to explain to her because of the language barrier.
But there have also been some great experiences.
To see her expression when she saw her room for the first time. For her to see the Barbie dolls, stuffed animals and clothes in her closet.
To see Valerie's anxiety of meeting our dog melt away, as Muffin lays beside her and lets Valerie pet her again and again.
It has been exciting and fun to see her experience her new life.
This girl has determination, with the bruises to prove it!
She has learned to ride a scooter
learned to roller blade
and learned to ride a bike (without training wheels!)
all in three weeks time!
These have been great accomplishments
that we have been able to share and experience with her.
Beautiful day to spend downtown
The BEST Pizza!
Watching her sister.
We have some extensive dental work in Valerie's future.
No comments:
Post a Comment